|
|
Homecoming
Today I can stand here and sing, dance and praise God, yet I have gone through unthinkable circumstances to get here. The last 10 years are a blur of drugs to me. My heart had only one desire, and that was heroin. Life to me was pain, fear and illness. I lost family, love and friendship. When I would see others enjoying health and happiness, I was jealous. I wanted to give up my addiction. My parents cried many bitter tears and tried every method they could to get me to stop using. Eventually, even my parents and good friends gave up hope. My heart and spirit became like an orphan, never finding home and warmth, never finding direction. In the night, the fear and nightmares would come. I craved death to erase those terrible nightmares and horrible memories, but I was not brave enough to face death.
When I left the facility, I thought only of my craving. I knew I would return to drugs. Death was the only solution to my addiction. Every time I used drugs, I would increase the dosage, not caring if I lived. If I died, my parents could be released from the misery I was causing them. I was like the prodigal son. While I was traveling this road of misery and hopelessness, my mother took me to a Sunday-morning worship service at the Jiang Nan Church in Panzhihua, Sichuan, in May 2003. I only went with her to make her happy once in my life, so I could die with some peace. As I listened to the singing of the brothers and sisters, a peace descended on my heart. I forgot about my drug craving. I saw peace and love, and, most importantly, I saw this as new life pouring from the face of every believer. I told my mother that I wanted to stay at the church and find in the gospel a way to stop using drugs. Like the other drug users who came to the church to get rid of their habits, I have experienced the warmth of family. They have taken us in and shown us love, not avoided or shunned us. Church leaders gave of their meager salaries to provide us with nutritious food and to meet our needs. Leaders and many other volunteers would spend day and night with us, holding us, praying continuously for us until our craving would end. This sometimes went on for hours. I couldn’t understand why they would do this for us. I couldn’t understand the words they used in praying for us. But I deeply understood the warm hands that comforted and held me. This was God’s love coming to us through them. After praying, the brothers and sisters would say, "God loves you." This moved me very deeply. I didn't like myself and could see nothing in myself worthy of love, yet this God loved me, unconditionally. As we were at the church learning about the gospel and ridding our bodies of drugs, an aluminum picture frame disappeared. People thought that we had stolen it to get money for drugs. Before we heard the gospel, we would have done that kind of thing, but we hadn’t been involved in this robbery. People passed by with suspicion in their eyes. With this loss of face, we thought we had no alternative but to give up our plan and leave the church. Pastor Li (Peijun) was away preaching. When he returned, he asked us into his office. He not only did not curse us, but he used warm words to comfort us. "If the lost frame could be in exchange for your souls, I’d like it to be lost," he said. It is this power of kindness and love that enables us to go on and give up our addictions. The power of this love has healed our badly damaged spirits. In Christ we now can receive real life. We are truly new creations. Since he wrote his homecoming story, Li Xiu has worked with a group of 10
others in a small church-run rehab center. He is leading the group to health and new life. In this issue: Features Highlights Viewpoints |
$210 supports a 
