Valentine’s Day: A time when people celebrate their love for each other by exchanging cards, flowers and candy. Some even have a special dinner. It is a time to reflect on who you love and who loves you.
Valentine’s Day has always been tricky for me. I am a single woman in my 50s. I’ve never been married and am OK with that, because it was a choice. However, it took me a long time to figure this out and make peace with my decision.
In my 20s and 30s, I felt differently. Every Valentine’s Day filled me with resentment. Why was I still single? What was wrong with me? How hard could it be to find my knight in shining armor? This is when I relied on my faith and what God had planned for me.
I wondered, “What does the Bible say about being single?” I often heard people in church — usually those who were married or in a relationship — flippantly say, "Well, singleness is a gift. Enjoy it." To which I emphatically wanted to reply, "Then why aren't you single?"
The most in-depth Bible passage on singleness is 1 Corinthians 7.
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (NIV): "I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do."
The Bible says singleness is a gift, because it gives me a greater opportunity to focus on God. If you are not careful, you might even read that Bible passage and believe that singleness is always better for all people. That is not Paul’s point. His point is that singleness, if anything, is a higher calling.
At 40, I finally stopped obsessing about being single and immersed myself in doing good. I volunteered for non-profit organizations and my church and truly deepened my faith in God. I was following my higher calling. The most important time in my life was when I was able to care for my parents when they fought, and lost, their battles with cancer. I was there every step of the way until the very end. I will always cherish that experience and thank God that I had the time to devote to them.
In my mid-40s, things changed. By accident, I found my knight in shining armor. I was not looking, but God had a plan. It was time. I now receive flowers, cards and candy on Valentine’s Day. I am taken out to dinner. Ironically, we have not married. We like having our independence, while enjoying each other’s company. God still has a plan for my life. I am looking forward to many more Valentine’s Days.