Jonah and Memee Yang are mission associates with Mennonite Mission Network. Their ministries in Southeast Asia include:
To learn how you and your congregation can support their ministry, click here.
I want to thank God and my local church members at Emmanuel Mennonite Church in the Twin Cities, and many others, for supporting me in bringing a Compassionate Care Seminar to Southeast Asia.
Being a Hmong man can be difficult because of many responsibilities including those to extended families. The older generation has taught their children that to be respected, they must be tough. They are taught that in marriage, men should place their values and authority over women. Women are taught to be loyal to their husbands. A woman's task in marriage is to work hard, and not bring shame to the family name.
In Asia, I am often asked, "What is love between a married couple?" My simple answer is that love is not about intimacy, having children, food to eat, or a house to live in. Instead, love is about understanding, respecting, appreciating and honoring each other.
The first Compassionate Care seminar in Laos was held for two and a half days in Spring 2023. We had 68 participants from six different provinces: Bolikhamsai, Luang, Prabang, Vientiane, Xaisomboun and Xiengkhoung. This seminar opened their eyes to understand what love is. It is not about closing doors on relationships; it is about integrity, value and understanding each other's point of view.
Some attendees previously understood love as having children, providing shelter and doing heavy chores. While discussing Genesis 2:18-25 and Galatians 3:28, their eyes were opened and their hearts were softened to understand and see God's love. They began to understand that humanity was created in God's image, in which there is no longer male or female, enslaved or free, but everyone is the same in the love of Christ.
The men confessed to their wives that they have often misinterpreted what love is about, and they apologized to each other.
At the end of the session, we performed vows to re-establish relationships. One man apologized to his wife for the bad things he had done, including cheating on her and advising her to have an affair. His wife was suicidal but was saved by her four young children and God. This man turned his life back to God and devoted himself to loving her and trying to understand, respect, and honor his wife.
Three men commented that this Compassionate Care seminar is a place for the couples to talk about their guilt, confess and ask for forgiveness. Another man said it is like a mediation session for them to understand, agree and set goals to improve their marriage.
One woman shared that Compassionate Care is like a clinic to which she came seeking a diagnosis and a cure. Another woman shared that it is like a treatment center for her to come to learn how to prevent conditions that will eat her slowly from the inside out.
Yet another woman said it is like a burning furnace where she can dump her pain and restart her marriage fresh.
This seminar changed many lives. Men and women spoke positively about how they will love their spouses or families differently, incorporating respect, honor and welcoming women's opinions and decision-making into their lives together.
This article originally appeared in Central Plains Mennonite Conference's quarterly periodical.