I am sick and tired of talking about racism when I serve a God who is love. Because lately all the race talks I have had reek of some underlying hatred with no one trying to understand anything. Don’t get me wrong. It is almost unbelievable to have a job that does staff book studies and even host Beloved Community Council meetings where someone who looks like me can freely speak their mind. A job where DOOR city directors across the country bravely try to tear down the walls of racism and teach understanding through service work and reflections. I am tired of talking about racism, but there is so much hatred that I have to face.
This week we have
over 40 DOOR Discover participants: We have had a fun week so far.
Tonight I had the opportunity to drive one of our participants back to
the church after we finished a service project. It was just she and I in
the car. Our conversation was great. She has such a great spirit it was
awesome just to have her positive energy around. Then her phone buzzed
and I noticed her face dropped. I asked if she was ok. She told me she
was but she was trying to make plans to meet her aunt and have dinner
with her while she was in town. I told her I was happy that she was able
to do that. She responded that she wasn’t. She continued to tell me how
her aunt was prejudice against people of color. How she knew the dinner
would be hard because her aunt would probably say some offensive things
about people of color during their dinner. She said she would not even
allow her aunt to pick her up from the church because she was afraid of
what her aunt may say to the people she saw there.
The more she
talked the sadder I became. As I heard her say most of my family feels
this way except for my mom. "My mom taught me to love everybody." She
said. I told her so did mine. I thought she was brave to share all that
she had with me, but I wandered how many more of our participants had
the same issues. Then I was reminded how important talking about the
civil rights movement and Martin Luther King this week is. I am so sick
of talking about racism, but tonight we both agreed with our mothers,
God is love and we should love everyone!
So to know that people
who don’t even know me hate me because of the color of my skin is my
reality. However, this reality does not make me feel any less important.
I love the color of my skin. I can’t help that stereotypes help allow
others to look down on me. No, I am not the stereotype of the angry
black woman, because I am naturally quiet but when I do speak, I speak
my mind. That’s not anger, that’s confidence. I am not only confident,
but I am strong. I have great reasons to be confident and strong. Not
only am I the seed of Abraham, but I also am the seed of slaves who
endured captivity, a treacherous boat ride, ridicule and shame, yet my
ancestors survived. I am the seed of a grandfather who although was
hated in this country for being a person of color, still had enough
dignity to go to another country who hated him even more and defend this
country and its citizens of all races. I am so sick of talking about
racism, but if I never talk about it how can I help others to better
understand.
Originally published on DOOR’s blog.
